Me, myself & I…in good and bad days
Door: Iris
27 September 2016 | Slovenië, Bovec
Time is going fast, and so are the adventures, and the ups and downs they bring with them…After Zg. Jezerko I drove to Bohinjska, where I would take the car train to Most na Soci the next morning as there was a big mountain pass on my way, which I m not sure my old car could handle…
The car train was an adventure: it goes through long, pitch black tunnels, not 1 little light and you need to put your car on a completely open wagon (just a platform really), and stay sitting in your car, that moves from left to right as if you are going to de-rail, there I sat alone, in the pitch dark, feeling like I was in a spooky fair attraction from a horror movie :-)!!!
I was lucky and enjoyed a sunny afternoon at Bohinj lake. I had been here before and therefor did not plan to spent more days here. But beautiful as it is, I changed my mind. The next morning I wanted to go up mount Vogel (ski-resort in winter) but the webcams showed me that it was too cloudy up there. So, I visited 2 waterfalls in stead and afterwards stopped at Triglav info Center. Triglav is the highest mountain of Slovenia. As often is the case, they give me a strange look when I try to explain my plans. It seems to me everybody is convinced that tourism revolves solely around earning money, and more money…To combine tourism with doing well, seems a ridiculous idea, and so I end up feeling like a fool and doubting, re-nanalyzing my plans over and over again, before, each time again, I come to the conclusion that I have a great idea, and new ideas always take time to become accepted and "normal"...
Persistent as I have learned to be, in the end, I did walk out with the address of a cow farm in a nearby village. They still make cheese by hand from the milk, and every summer take the cows up in the mountains, where they stay with them all summer in small wooden huts. In september, when they come back out of the mountain, there is a big farmers' ball to celebrate. Just my cup of tea so I went there, talked it over, got a whole presentation about the farm and cheese making. They even went to get a television screen out of the basement, and put it up in the stables against the wall, where the cows were, to show me a video :-), unique location, I loved it. The only sad part is, that I can not test the tour to the mountains before next summer, as the cows are back already and the mountain huts are closed.I do not feel experienced enough to go by myself in the mountains for a multiple day tour without any hut being open, so I m thinking of following a "mountain guide course"later this year. Here the existing guides ask 250 euro per day…which I found a bit over the top to pay for all by myself...
Anyways, I gave the people of the cow farm my last Chimay and got a big cheese in return.
That same afternoon my contact in upper Soca valley let me know he would not be in Kobarid as planned as he had to go to his mother s birthday party in his home town on Friday evening, and would not be back before Sunday evening. This was a bummer as it was Thursday afternoon and I had everything arranged to take the car train and drive over there. I felt it was strange he had not known this before, as on wednesday all was still ok for the meeting, but I figured I did not have to know if this reason was true or not. In the end it was the guys' weekend and I could understand if he would prefer to do something else than talk business with me. So I re-arranged my plans, and first went to the wine region, more south, which would have been on my way later but ok, sometimes you need to be flexible. I stayed in a Herbal House, which was an experience: my pillow was stuffed with lavender,and there were herbs in part of my mattress, the whole room smelt like outdoor fields, which was all pretty nice actually. But the nicest part were Vesna and her parents, who rent out the herbal room. I ended up making lavender bags with her mum, drinking fresh tea and enjoying healthy home made cooking with vegetables and herbs from their own garden. It must have been the most healthy days of my life :-)!
Also, Vesna took me on a walk along the wineries. It reminded me of Tuscany. How strange, not many people know of this wonderful place, where coffee and wine on an idyllic terrace can still be bought for a euro...
Saturday came and I moved up, to Tolmin, thinking I would check out fly fishing, but once I calculated the prices for renting material, a guide and getting an obliged permit, I decided not to go. These prices were crazy expensive. I checked in a room at a farm in a very small village of 200 inhabitants, thinking that would be nice. But the owners were exhausted from the summer season and made me feel really unwelcome, especially the man was really rude. First I thought maybe he did not approve of me traveling alone as a woman, but later that day a Dutch man came, and he was really rude to him too, and complaining all the time about too many stupid tourists… So, I rented a bike, of which he said was not a good idea for me, as we tourists are not able to bicycle there as we are always sitting behind our computer,... only Slovenians, and Germans, he said, were able to do sports in this area…Nevertheless, stubborn as I am I rented the bike and went to visit the Tolmin Gorges and a castle up a hill, and yes it was not the easiest ride I ever made, but I did it anyways and I m by far the most sportive Belgian.
So, the next morning I left straight after breakfast. My contact in Kobarid would meet me on a camping in the evening. So, I thought I already go and set up my tent, look around and meet later when he would be back from his mum's birthday party. I sent him a message I was already almost there. He answered all of the sudden that he was there too already (?!?) but was in a hurry to leave as he was going climbing with his friends, so he would prefer to meet in the evening. Which was of course fine by me as I did not even expect him to be there yet, so no prob for me...
Only….at the camping I saw he was there, with a girl, not with his climber friends…they had just woken up…he lied to me for God knows what for reason…
He told me he was sorry, but could not talk now.."just wait for me, tonight we will talk"… And the combination of lying to me, making me re-arrange my plans, loose time, and then tell me to hang around all day for an explanation while he would go and have fun...that finally did piss me off big time:
who did this guy think he was? he lies to me, makes me re-arrange my plans while I drove all the way from Belgium to talk so he can make money on my business ideas? And then he expected me to wait around all day for an explanation…?
Damn all these stupid ego-tripping men!, I thought.
I mean: I have gotten used to men lying to me when there is "another woman" if they are in a relationship with me…but now they also start lying to me when they don t have a reason to lie…Why on earth could he not have told me honestly that he preferred to spent the weekend with this girl??? It brought back many old feelings, and nightmares, it even took me out of balance for 2 days…
I went to check on rafting and kayaking trips etc that day, and was back at the camp around 6pm. I decided to be nice to myself and so I ate a pizza, drank a beer, and went to my tent around 8.30pm. During the day I had gotten some bullshit messages that were contradictory and only made me more angry because clearly this guy thought I was stupid, he kept on treating me like a fool. After the guy in Tolmin with his anti-tourist attitude, I had enough. Around 9 pm, he sents me a message: hey i m back, let s have a beer and talk…I didn't, broke up my tent the next morning and left to Bovec. I got many more messages, in some he admitted being a stupid fool, in others he started blaming me because I showed up a few hours to soon (!?!)…When he finally started blaming me for the fact that I never gave him a chance to explain (?!??) , I decided to meet and see what the hell was this guys problem.
In the end he had a very sad story, he looked like shit, he had been living in his van on a camping for months already, and I caught him on more lies, which I think he didn't even realize as I did not tell him. I did not see the use of it as I had already made up my mind that this was not the kind of person I want to do business with. This guy made me angry as he seems to believe that if you have enough misery yourself, you have a "wild card" to hurt everyone around you and everyone that happens to cross your way..I gave him my opinion straight, in an unrefined, direct way (which is a not so positive speciality of mine that in these situations does come in handy). However, I also tried to stay me, stay true to my values in stead of act out of frustration, stay nice and be "the bigger person" in this stupid situation, and so I ended up driving back to Kobarid, to offer him a listening ear, over dinner and some beers, the top of a hostel bunkbed and a hot shower for 1 night as he was way too drunk to drive back to the camping and I would not even want a lying asshole to get into an accident.
It s strange how anger had replaced itself so suddenly for pity…And it s strange how even though I think he appreciated my gesture, he tried to get into my bed that night…which of course was where I drew the line to my kindness…I told him like 10 times in advance, that I would not appreciate that, of course he lied again, assuring me he would not try anything...
I can hear you thinking: Iris, why did you give him all that after he lied to you? It is a question I have asked myself over and over, and I think it is because I really did not want him to be just another lying asshole, as I am trying, already for a few years now, to trust "new" people (especially men) again, and I can't... because I am scared I will trust another lying asshole again..So, I desperately did not want him to be that, so I would be able to say to myself:
see, there are nice guys in the world, not everybody you meet, that tells a little lie, is a bad person….But sadly, it didn't go that way, and now I am another step further from trusting new people/guys I meet…or even giving them a chance…
On the other hand, for the first time in my life, that night, I felt I deserved better, which was a new feeling for me, and maybe a sign that I have become to care for myself, and am able to set my boundaries now. And that, is a very good thing as only a few years ago, I was not able to love myself more then some one else, and I was not able to set limits. I clearly did now.
And there were also ups this week:
Vesna of the Herbal House had a day off and she came all the way to Bovec/Trenta to me, to go and walk the complete 25 km of the Soca trail together. This really made me feel good, and gave me what I really really needed at the moment: to notice that there are warm people that you can let in.
On Saturday I went to meet her and her mum again in Kobarid where there was a food festival going on and they had a stand for lavender bags and cushions. Also, they were in the running for a winning a prize for making the best jam.
We exchanged hugs, I wished them good luck with the contest, and afterwards I hit the road again, going South. But I have this feeling, it will not have been the last time that I saw Vesna…
I will make another post about my journey South soon as I will already reach the coast later today.
The car train was an adventure: it goes through long, pitch black tunnels, not 1 little light and you need to put your car on a completely open wagon (just a platform really), and stay sitting in your car, that moves from left to right as if you are going to de-rail, there I sat alone, in the pitch dark, feeling like I was in a spooky fair attraction from a horror movie :-)!!!
I was lucky and enjoyed a sunny afternoon at Bohinj lake. I had been here before and therefor did not plan to spent more days here. But beautiful as it is, I changed my mind. The next morning I wanted to go up mount Vogel (ski-resort in winter) but the webcams showed me that it was too cloudy up there. So, I visited 2 waterfalls in stead and afterwards stopped at Triglav info Center. Triglav is the highest mountain of Slovenia. As often is the case, they give me a strange look when I try to explain my plans. It seems to me everybody is convinced that tourism revolves solely around earning money, and more money…To combine tourism with doing well, seems a ridiculous idea, and so I end up feeling like a fool and doubting, re-nanalyzing my plans over and over again, before, each time again, I come to the conclusion that I have a great idea, and new ideas always take time to become accepted and "normal"...
Persistent as I have learned to be, in the end, I did walk out with the address of a cow farm in a nearby village. They still make cheese by hand from the milk, and every summer take the cows up in the mountains, where they stay with them all summer in small wooden huts. In september, when they come back out of the mountain, there is a big farmers' ball to celebrate. Just my cup of tea so I went there, talked it over, got a whole presentation about the farm and cheese making. They even went to get a television screen out of the basement, and put it up in the stables against the wall, where the cows were, to show me a video :-), unique location, I loved it. The only sad part is, that I can not test the tour to the mountains before next summer, as the cows are back already and the mountain huts are closed.I do not feel experienced enough to go by myself in the mountains for a multiple day tour without any hut being open, so I m thinking of following a "mountain guide course"later this year. Here the existing guides ask 250 euro per day…which I found a bit over the top to pay for all by myself...
Anyways, I gave the people of the cow farm my last Chimay and got a big cheese in return.
That same afternoon my contact in upper Soca valley let me know he would not be in Kobarid as planned as he had to go to his mother s birthday party in his home town on Friday evening, and would not be back before Sunday evening. This was a bummer as it was Thursday afternoon and I had everything arranged to take the car train and drive over there. I felt it was strange he had not known this before, as on wednesday all was still ok for the meeting, but I figured I did not have to know if this reason was true or not. In the end it was the guys' weekend and I could understand if he would prefer to do something else than talk business with me. So I re-arranged my plans, and first went to the wine region, more south, which would have been on my way later but ok, sometimes you need to be flexible. I stayed in a Herbal House, which was an experience: my pillow was stuffed with lavender,and there were herbs in part of my mattress, the whole room smelt like outdoor fields, which was all pretty nice actually. But the nicest part were Vesna and her parents, who rent out the herbal room. I ended up making lavender bags with her mum, drinking fresh tea and enjoying healthy home made cooking with vegetables and herbs from their own garden. It must have been the most healthy days of my life :-)!
Also, Vesna took me on a walk along the wineries. It reminded me of Tuscany. How strange, not many people know of this wonderful place, where coffee and wine on an idyllic terrace can still be bought for a euro...
Saturday came and I moved up, to Tolmin, thinking I would check out fly fishing, but once I calculated the prices for renting material, a guide and getting an obliged permit, I decided not to go. These prices were crazy expensive. I checked in a room at a farm in a very small village of 200 inhabitants, thinking that would be nice. But the owners were exhausted from the summer season and made me feel really unwelcome, especially the man was really rude. First I thought maybe he did not approve of me traveling alone as a woman, but later that day a Dutch man came, and he was really rude to him too, and complaining all the time about too many stupid tourists… So, I rented a bike, of which he said was not a good idea for me, as we tourists are not able to bicycle there as we are always sitting behind our computer,... only Slovenians, and Germans, he said, were able to do sports in this area…Nevertheless, stubborn as I am I rented the bike and went to visit the Tolmin Gorges and a castle up a hill, and yes it was not the easiest ride I ever made, but I did it anyways and I m by far the most sportive Belgian.
So, the next morning I left straight after breakfast. My contact in Kobarid would meet me on a camping in the evening. So, I thought I already go and set up my tent, look around and meet later when he would be back from his mum's birthday party. I sent him a message I was already almost there. He answered all of the sudden that he was there too already (?!?) but was in a hurry to leave as he was going climbing with his friends, so he would prefer to meet in the evening. Which was of course fine by me as I did not even expect him to be there yet, so no prob for me...
Only….at the camping I saw he was there, with a girl, not with his climber friends…they had just woken up…he lied to me for God knows what for reason…
He told me he was sorry, but could not talk now.."just wait for me, tonight we will talk"… And the combination of lying to me, making me re-arrange my plans, loose time, and then tell me to hang around all day for an explanation while he would go and have fun...that finally did piss me off big time:
who did this guy think he was? he lies to me, makes me re-arrange my plans while I drove all the way from Belgium to talk so he can make money on my business ideas? And then he expected me to wait around all day for an explanation…?
Damn all these stupid ego-tripping men!, I thought.
I mean: I have gotten used to men lying to me when there is "another woman" if they are in a relationship with me…but now they also start lying to me when they don t have a reason to lie…Why on earth could he not have told me honestly that he preferred to spent the weekend with this girl??? It brought back many old feelings, and nightmares, it even took me out of balance for 2 days…
I went to check on rafting and kayaking trips etc that day, and was back at the camp around 6pm. I decided to be nice to myself and so I ate a pizza, drank a beer, and went to my tent around 8.30pm. During the day I had gotten some bullshit messages that were contradictory and only made me more angry because clearly this guy thought I was stupid, he kept on treating me like a fool. After the guy in Tolmin with his anti-tourist attitude, I had enough. Around 9 pm, he sents me a message: hey i m back, let s have a beer and talk…I didn't, broke up my tent the next morning and left to Bovec. I got many more messages, in some he admitted being a stupid fool, in others he started blaming me because I showed up a few hours to soon (!?!)…When he finally started blaming me for the fact that I never gave him a chance to explain (?!??) , I decided to meet and see what the hell was this guys problem.
In the end he had a very sad story, he looked like shit, he had been living in his van on a camping for months already, and I caught him on more lies, which I think he didn't even realize as I did not tell him. I did not see the use of it as I had already made up my mind that this was not the kind of person I want to do business with. This guy made me angry as he seems to believe that if you have enough misery yourself, you have a "wild card" to hurt everyone around you and everyone that happens to cross your way..I gave him my opinion straight, in an unrefined, direct way (which is a not so positive speciality of mine that in these situations does come in handy). However, I also tried to stay me, stay true to my values in stead of act out of frustration, stay nice and be "the bigger person" in this stupid situation, and so I ended up driving back to Kobarid, to offer him a listening ear, over dinner and some beers, the top of a hostel bunkbed and a hot shower for 1 night as he was way too drunk to drive back to the camping and I would not even want a lying asshole to get into an accident.
It s strange how anger had replaced itself so suddenly for pity…And it s strange how even though I think he appreciated my gesture, he tried to get into my bed that night…which of course was where I drew the line to my kindness…I told him like 10 times in advance, that I would not appreciate that, of course he lied again, assuring me he would not try anything...
I can hear you thinking: Iris, why did you give him all that after he lied to you? It is a question I have asked myself over and over, and I think it is because I really did not want him to be just another lying asshole, as I am trying, already for a few years now, to trust "new" people (especially men) again, and I can't... because I am scared I will trust another lying asshole again..So, I desperately did not want him to be that, so I would be able to say to myself:
see, there are nice guys in the world, not everybody you meet, that tells a little lie, is a bad person….But sadly, it didn't go that way, and now I am another step further from trusting new people/guys I meet…or even giving them a chance…
On the other hand, for the first time in my life, that night, I felt I deserved better, which was a new feeling for me, and maybe a sign that I have become to care for myself, and am able to set my boundaries now. And that, is a very good thing as only a few years ago, I was not able to love myself more then some one else, and I was not able to set limits. I clearly did now.
And there were also ups this week:
Vesna of the Herbal House had a day off and she came all the way to Bovec/Trenta to me, to go and walk the complete 25 km of the Soca trail together. This really made me feel good, and gave me what I really really needed at the moment: to notice that there are warm people that you can let in.
On Saturday I went to meet her and her mum again in Kobarid where there was a food festival going on and they had a stand for lavender bags and cushions. Also, they were in the running for a winning a prize for making the best jam.
We exchanged hugs, I wished them good luck with the contest, and afterwards I hit the road again, going South. But I have this feeling, it will not have been the last time that I saw Vesna…
I will make another post about my journey South soon as I will already reach the coast later today.
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